alternate title: If People Had Yelp Reviews
Think on this. You’re driving around town looking for a restaurant to go to for lunch. In the shopping center, there are 3 different restaurants and all of them look good from the outside. You decide to look them all up online and discover the reviews section. There, you see one restaurant that has all 5-stars and rave reviews with pictures of scrumptious food attached. The second restaurant seems promising, almost all 5-stars, but then you notice a terrible 1-star review where the customer ranted for two paragraphs about the terrible service and food. This turns you off completely, despite all the positive reviews from everyone else. The last restaurant you don’t even consider going to after reading all the terrible 1-star reviews.
A similar situation happened to my family the other day, and I said to my brother, “I wish people had reviews, so that every time we met someone we could check out their reviews first and see what all we’re getting into.” But after discussing it for a few minutes, we both came to the conclusion that that would be unfair. Why? Because that’s exactly how gossip works!
We hear one bad “review” of someone without even knowing them personally, and suddenly we have our minds made up about them. And we haven’t even met them yet! How unfair of us to make assumptions of others based on one person’s opinions. I wonder how many friendships we miss out on when we believe other’s gossip and take their word for everything instead of getting to know someone for ourselves. God has a way of revealing people’s true natures. We should be placing our trust in discernment from Him instead of the gossip of others.
Sometimes the bad review is just that one person’s experience. Just like a review, we don’t always know both sides of the story, or the circumstances that lead to that situation. There are times when someone will leave a bad review of a restaurant, conveniently leaving out the part where they were incredibly rude to the waitress, did not clearly communicate what they were trying to order, and got angry at the smallest little things. The tricky thing is, we don’t always know which people are giving truthful reviews or not. We also have no idea what kind of day their waitress was having. Maybe she just got a call from her landlord telling her she is being evicted, or just found out her grandpa is in the hospital, or just got brutally dumped the day before and it was all she could do to make it to work. None of these are excuses for her to treat people wrongly, however they do give cause for someone who wouldn’t normally act in such a way to behave like that. You never truly know if a bad review is just what one person experienced on a bad day, or if it is truly something you should take their word on to save time and energy.
Bad reviews do affect the business, especially when there is an abundance of them. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Your reputation proceeds you?” When we see these bad reviews, we tend to automatically form a subconscious opinion based on them. They influence the way we think. Let us once again apply this in the spiritual sense. We have a testimony that proceeds us, and while we are not defined by other’s opinions, we are to behave and treat people in the highest manner-in a way that would be most pleasing to God. Guard your testimony and conduct yourself in a Christ-like way. Know that other’s will always have their “bad reviews,” but be confident that you do not deserve them. Always be humble enough to apologize (when necessary) if someone confronts you about something you have done that offended them. This is the biblical way of resolving conflicts.
Matthew 18:15 ~ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Good reviews have a good reflection on the business and encourage people to visit it. Good reputations and testimonies encourage others to get to know you. Just like bad reviews influence our opinions, so do good ones!
Good reviews don’t mean that the bad reviews don’t exist, and bad reviews don’t mean that the good ones aren’t legit. Someone with a bad experience at a restaurant should not feel the need to argue with someone who has had a great experience, like the validity of their bad experience is reliant on everyone else’s also being bad. Vice versa to those with good experiences: they cannot tell someone with a bad review that their experience is invalid simply because it isn’t like their own. We can apply this to people as well! One bad experience with someone does not cancel out all the good experiences they may have with others. Your bad experience with that person does not cancel out another’s good, just like someone else’s good experience does not mean you’ve never had a bad one. After all, there are always two sides and things that lead up to the situation. In addition, everyone makes mistakes. As those who are trying to live pleasing to the Lord, we are to be quick to forgive instead of quick to assume the worst and hold grudges.
There is one contrast I have found between reviews of restaurants and business and “reviews” of people. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with leaving a bad review on a restaurant that you truly had a bad experience with and would like to warn others about or just give constructive feedback to the restaurant itself. However, gossip is strongly spoken against in the Bible. It is not our place to share our bad “review” of someone else. You may think that sharing your terrible experience and warning your friends about someone is simply doing them a favor and saving them the trouble, but the Bible speaks strongly on spreading gossip. Never once does it say, “don’t gossip, unless you think it will benefit someone else, then it’s ok.” Sometimes we have a bad experience, and we’re quick to want to warn others/leave a bad review. We don’t want them to get hurt or waste their time. But this is not our place. Take a look at these verses that clearly state how God feels about gossip:
Ephesians 4:29 ~ Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
James 4:11 ~ Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
Psalm 101:5 ~ Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.
Proverbs 16:28 ~ A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
How about we get to know people for ourselves, instead of letting gossip persuade our entire view and opinion of someone! What if we all formed our opinions of people based off of our own opinions and not the “reviews” of others? You may be surprised by what you find!
by Allyson Million
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