What is your solution for pain? When your heart is heavy, what is your go-to? When you're feeling weighed down, what is your pick-me-up?
I'll be completely honest, my go-to's in the past have been things like a dessert, a TV show, a favorite book, or an upbeat song (or even sometimes sad songs). I've never thought twice about putting in my earbuds and binge watching a show for hours so that, just for a little while, I didn't have to think about what was hurting me. I didn't have to hear my thoughts or feel my pain. It was an escape.
However, I felt the Lord grip my heart with conviction not too long ago about what I am running to when I need something to boost my mood. I was feeling hurt, jealous, and disappointed by a situation and immediately went to plug in my earbuds and turn up a song to make me feel better.
While there is something to be said for good music and the way it can help us, it's all in what we're listening to, how often we're listening to it, and how much faith we are putting in it to help us. Anything that does not glorify God will not remedy our situation. Anything without eternal significance that consumes-our thoughts & our minds-will cause us more harm than good.
This time, my hand hesitated before picking up my earbuds, and God spoke to my heart. Why did I think this was the solution I needed? Why had I not turned to Him instead? Why did I feel a distraction was what I needed instead of allowing myself to feel the pain? How often was I turning to entertainment when I needed comfort?
Something that seemed so simple, so subconscious, suddenly stopped me in my tracks. Thank God for His conviction! We must be sensitive to the promptings of His Spirit so that He can correct and guide us.
When we are in a constant state of tuning out our thoughts and never feeling comfortable in silence, It is easy to miss out on God's voice and promptings.
Although it may seem contradictory, we should learn to love God's correction.
"What's so wrong if it helps me feel better?"
It's only natural to turn to the things we know will make us happy. However, just because it is natural does not mean it is necessarily good for us. Just because it makes us feel good does not mean it will satisfy us. When we don't turn to the right things, we are left feeling empty and numb long-term.
When our mood is low, sometimes we turn on a happy, upbeat song to get our spirits high, to get the energy going, to transition us out of our sadness.
When our heart is broken, we keep ourselves busy with friends, work, & activities.
When we’ve been hurt, we turn on a movie or pick up a book & tune out all our thoughts & feelings with a fictional world.
When the still quietness of the room becomes too loud & we are reminded of our pain, we pick a social media site & scroll for hours to block out the noise so that we don’t have to feel.
Just the other night, my feelings were hurt about something, and I was watching a show and eating ice cream in bed. At first, my thought was, I deserve this ice cream; this is exactly what I need right now. But almost immediately after came the disappointing realization, This doesn't make me feel any better.
I wanted this to work. I wanted to eat my feelings in ice cream and be able to say I felt better afterwards. I wanted a distraction to be enough to take the hurt away. My heart was in pain. Things didn't go my way. I was hurt. But the ice cream didn't make me feel any better.
You know what did, though? When I took out my earbud and began to pray. Nothing fancy, just talking to God similar to how I would talk to a close friend.
Sometimes I think we forget that we don't always have to come to God with flowery words and grand praises. God wants us to come to Him even when we just need someone to bare our soul to. Someone to listen to us, someone who cares. Sometimes we don't think to go to God because we can't visibly see Him listening, but He is. Sometimes we avoid turning to Him because we know we're not where we should be spiritually.
My papa said the other day in a sermon, how wonderful it would be if we lived each day right with God-nothing unsettled between us so that we could feel free to just turn to Him at any time. There would be no apologies to be made first, nothing to repent of so that He could actually hear our prayers, no shame or guilt that needed to be ridden of.
The best thing about going to Him with our troubles, is that He can both provide comfort like no earthly friend, and also remind us of what is really important in the long-run. Sometimes the Lord just has to remind me that what I'm upset about is not the end goal in life. So even though He cares about even the small things in our lives, He knows when to remind us not to get too caught up in them.
This is a kind of healing that ice cream just can't accomplish.
We Need A Remedy
Human beings are made with a built-in desire to crave a solution - to search for an anecdote to what ails us.
We are hardly ever okay to simply sit by and patiently endure pain or sorrow. It's just not natural. When our body is in pain, we search for something to take it away. When our feelings are hurt, we want something that will make us feel better. When our heart is broken, we want something or someone to comfort us. When we are stressed or anxious, we want something to distract us.
We long for shelter in the storm, a light when it's dark, a treatment for our pain.
We can even trace this back to our soul's need for a remedy for our sin. We are born in sin. We are born incomplete and in need of a Savior. We have that built-in desire for something greater than ourselves - something to save us from this sin-sick world we live in.
The culture we live in pushes entertainment - music, social media, & fictional worlds - to “fix” our pain. It's so easily available & ready to access that it's what we reach for out of habit.
And we fall for it every day.
If you're having a hard day, treat yourself! If you got broken up with, go out! If your life is getting too depressing, immerse yourself in a book or TV show so you can forget about it for a while.
This is how I noticed the pattern.
I started reaching for these things out of habit when I became upset by something.
There is nothing wrong with any of the above (provided we are using biblical judgement to discern what is honoring to Christ).
Happy songs trigger dopamine in our brain & boost our mood. Good books & movies transport our minds into a place where we don’t have to worry about our troubles for a short time. Busying our minds with friends or work or other activities makes us feel productive, helps us to have a good time, and silences our thoughts for a little while.
(On the flip side, happy songs don't always have God-honoring messages, books & movies sometimes fill our minds with harmful things, and being too busy or busy with the wrong things can do more harm than good.)
1 JOHN 1:4
"Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world."
But when we return to reality, the problems are still there.
That person still hurt your feelings. Your heart is still broken. You still have guilt & shame. Your mood is still low. You’re still stressed & anxious.
Why? Because none of these things have the capability of truly fixing our problems.
They act as a smokescreen, making us believe that because they gave us a temporary feeling of happiness or satisfaction, they have truly fixed our problem. We begin to believe that this is a good long-term solution.
The devil never wants us to see the end of the path. He never wants us to see the results of a life full only of distractions and endless entertainment and things that have no eternal significance.
Now, I'm not saying you can never lose yourself in a fictional world or enjoy wholesome entertainment. I'm not suggesting that we should simply sit in silence and pray and read our Bibles all day long, every single day. As long as it's glorifying to God, and you have no further conviction on the matter, it's not wrong to partake in entertainment, generally speaking. Obviously we should be using prayer and seeking guidance to discern what we should be supporting as we know the entertainment industry (movies, TV, books, social media, etc.) is extremely corrupt and that most of it does not exist to edify the Christian. But there are wholesome sources of entertainment out there that I believe are not harmful when consumed in moderation and along with a healthy spiritual life. With proper discernment, wisdom, time-management, and self-control, entertainment can be enjoyable.
But when you begin to turn to these things to fix your hurt or sadness or anxiety, that's when I have to tell you that it won't help, not really. When you subconsciously and habitually run to these things when you need comfort or a distraction, there's a problem. When we begin to become addicted to being constantly entertained or having background noise or losing ourself in another world, that's when a red flag should go up. We were not meant to be consumed by anything other than Jesus.
ROMANS 12:2
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Let’s take a close, hard look at the things we are turning to for comfort & entertainment.
If it’s not pointing to Christ, it’s temporary.
Don’t put too much stock or faith into anything that is temporary.
2 CORINTHIANS 4:18
"while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."
The Only Real Solution
Friend, let me tell you, nothing will soothe your heart like time with Jesus.
If your heart is hurting or you’re fighting negative emotions, nothing can cure them except the joy that comes from a relationship with God.
I’ve been there. I’m there.
We are all still learning.
I’ve plugged in my earbuds & turned up an upbeat song when I needed a mood boost. I've even turned to the wrong kinds of music, chasing a good feeling & a rush of emotion. Chasing something I could cry to when I was sad, get pumped-up to when I was angry and bitter, and get hyped-up on dopamine when I was happy.
I’ve binge watched shows to numb the pain or conviction in my heart. Even turned to the wrong kinds of shows that didn't just numb the hurt but also damaged my mind.
I’ve kept myself so busy that I never had to listen to the thoughts that reminded my of past hurts. Even kept myself so busy I didn't have time for God. Even kept myself busy with ministry that, by the way, didn't fulfil me. Why? I didn't have the relationship with God. Ministry, although a good thing, alone will not satisfy or fulfill.
But I've also found that none of these really make me feel better. They may give me a high of euphoria. They may make me happy for a moment. They may take my mind off of it. They may block out the noise. But they do not solve the problem. I'm always left feeling emptier than before.
Let God help you get to the root of the problem instead of searching for temporary solutions. If you never find the root, you will never truly heal.
When we pray, God speaks to our hearts & shows us the roots of the troubles we face. He comes along side of us to correct & comfort us.
When we read our Bibles, we see guidelines for how we are supposed to live, stories that may help us, encouraging words that soothe our pain, and examples of the mindset we should have as Christians. It sets our focus higher than our problems on earth. It reminds us of the goal.
JOHN 6:35
"And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst."
PSALM 107:9
"For he satisfied the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness."
While some entertainment is not wrong, it is not meant to be the solution. It is also not meant to consume us. If our lives are spent constantly being entertaining & never being still or silent, we may be missing out on God speaking to our hearts.
Are we idolizing entertainment by placing it as a solution for our problems before turning to God?
Whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re feeling, I promise you that the only solution is God.
Everything else is just noise. It's just bandaids. It's just temporary fixes. It's just distractions.
They will never help you get to the root. They will never comfort your soul and encourage your mind. They will never give you lasting joy & peace.
They will never take the place of Jesus Christ & time spent with Him.
Let your response to pain be to fall on your knees & talk with Jesus.
Let your response to hurt be to ask Him to help you to forgive & to teach you something through it all.
Let your response to guilt & shame not be to tune it out, but to feel it. And then once you’ve acknowledged it, find the root. Run to God for forgiveness. Humble yourself before Him.
1 JOHN 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Surrender your feelings to God and let Him help you.
Remember, if we turn to temporary things, we will get temporary results. If we turn to God and what is eternal, it will have eternal results.
While turning to entertainment or other comforts that are not God may feel good in the moment and give the expected result for a short time, it will not give you the lasting results you need in order to have a peaceful, joy-filled, Christ-focused life.
Don't expect to turn to things that are not of Him and still be able to draw closer to Him. He uses these difficult times to draw us closer to Him. But if we choose to turn to other sources of help for a mood-lifter or something to soothe our pain, we are choosing no two let it draw us closer to Him. Don't let your pain be in vain. Choose the only lasting help: Jesus.
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